Man vs. Himself: My 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest

In AP English we learned that all novels have the following protagonist vs. antagonist:

Man vs. Man

Man vs. Nature

Man vs. Himself

What Mrs. Frillici could not anticipate was yet another antagonist- Man vs. Food (a TV show that was recently taken off the air for the predictability of being stupid on social media). Nonetheless, as the 4th of July is here meaning it is time for the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. I’m personally boycotting the formal contest until Kobaysahi returns to glory and have used his techniques in the past to guide myself to the Big Mac Eating Contest championship.

I was in the middle of nowhere in Montana when I arrived at Lawdogs Saloon appropriately named as the establishment is run by a former sheriff. I overheard a fellow patron ask about a food eating contest and my ears perked up. Moments later, I found myself signing up for the Double Lawdog challenge: 2lbs of dog, 2 buns, and a mound of chili cheese fries that must be completed in an hour.

Rather than write the play by play here are some pics and videos to commemorate the occasion and celebrate the 4th of July.


The Wall of Winners


The menu


Scout Report


The Foe


Initial Excitement


The Jalapeno Cheese Hot Dog was a bad idea


The Tapout

In the end, I lost the challenge hitting the wall of fries at the 20 minute mark but learned a lot for the next life challenge:

1. Do not get spicy jalapeno cheese hot dogs.

2. Fries are a killer

3. Fries are a killer

4. If you are in Elliston, Montana opt for the burger challenge. There are no fries.

5. Running a marathon was easier.

Happy 4th of July!

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